Sex, Lies, Transmisogyny, and the Heteronormativity of BDSM, pt. 2

And finally, part 2 kicks off with a deconstruction of Charlotte Croson’s assertions about BDSM and transgender political/personal beliefs. This part of the article includes Structure/Content sections for both BDSM and transgender categories, and continues to spackle the idea that both are bad politics over a shaky foundation built on bigotry and bad assumptions. Additional discussion of part one can be found here.

S/M - Structure

The S/M view of sexuality is structured along deeply traditional lines. First, in the view of S/M advocates, sexuality is simply a matter of individual desire and practice. Where desire springs from is never examined, exactly - it just is, and practice follows from that. In this construction there is no room to question whether sexuality and desire are constructed, or how they are constructed, and by and for whom. Sexuality and desire can remain innate qualities or attributes of the person engaging in them. As a result, despite claims that sexuality is being deconstructed, current practices of sexuality are largely seen as transhistorical, beyond construction and question. They simply “are” what sexuality is and efforts to change what is are resisted. What S/M advocates have done is move essentialism from the physical body to the self - to one’s (presumably unconstructed) sexual identity and the practice that springs from it.

Second, the S/M construction is deeply gendered, maintaining the binary top/down nature of both sexuality and gender. In S/M sex, there are still only two sexual roles, separate and distinct from each other (although one may theoretically switch back and forth). And these roles are limited to top and bottom, dominant and subordinate. It is the same patriarchal template: innate, binary and top down. Having used the same template, it is no surprise that S/M sexuality exactly reproduces the content and norms of both male-dominant sexuality and gender.

The bad assumptions here are:

  • “Where desire springs from is never examined” - This is just wrong. Most of the people I know who practice BDSM do examine it, just as many of the gay, lesbian, and bisexual people examine their sexuality. When your desires are not the assumed norm, you question them and try to find a context for them. What Ms. Croson really means is that they didn’t come up with answers she liked - that they’re comfortable with their sexuality. Since this is politically wrong, or rather, shows they’re comfortable with “patriarchal sex,” it must be condemned. Apparently being a lesbian means having sexual freedom - but only if you adhere to the Party’s accepted doctrine, comrade.
  • “…despite claims that sexuality is being deconstructed.” - This is just another assertion that everything personal must be political, that by engaging in sex practices, we must obviously be making a political statement. This objection has more to do with the accuser than the accused, and you won’t find many serious BDSMers who give serious thought to the idea that they’re doing it to deconstruct anything. It also assumes that there’s an imperative to deconstruct anything when you do anything.
  • “What S/M advocates have done is move essentialism from the physical body to the self . . .” - “Essentialism” is apparently the radical feminist equivalent of Satanism, something that must be repudiated at all costs, after being imposed upon whatever target is convenient. I suppose this ties back to the idea that political lesbianism - that every woman can be a lesbian if she so chooses. If every woman can choose to love women instead of men, then of course every woman can choose to ignore their desire to engage in BDSM - and in fact, BDSM desires, like lesbianism, is just a wardrobe you can choose to wear or not, as you desire. Aside from the fact that political lesbianism is appropriation and colonization of lesbian culture, it’s also convenient rhetoric when you encounter kinks you want to stamp out.
  • “. . . the S/M construction is deeply gendered, maintaining the binary top/down nature of both sexuality in gender . . . it is no surprise that S/M sexuality exactly reproduces . . . male-dominant sexuality and gender.” - The implication being that there’s something essentially male about dominance and essentially female about submission in sexuality, and that taking on these roles - even if both participants are women - is just the same as men and women having vanilla sex. This is a rhetorical bait and switch, a false analogy. It denies the existence of female dommes and male subs and resorts to that hated essentialism in order to demonize the alleged essentialism of BDSM practices.

After building this castle on the sand, she proceeds to fill it with more detailed assumptions, or the “content” portion of this attempt to deconstruct BDSM. She begins by reiterating the false analogy that because vanilla heterosexual sex assumes that the male is dominant and the female is passive, that the male acts and the female is acted upon, that the male fucks and the female is fucked. That power imbalance in sex is patriarchal, and that through this patriarchal sexuality, women are subordinated to men. So what she is saying is that when a leatherdyke binds her femme sub, that she is reinforcing the idea that women are subservient to men. She goes on to say that S/M embraces this dynamic, rather than transgressing it. She says that according to pro-BDSM views that allowing female dominance makes it transgressive - which again falls into the fallacy that everything you do must be interpreted in terms of how much you think it transgresses heteronormativity as well as how much you think it really transgresses heteronormativity.

There’s something really wrong with her analysis, but I want to quote this paragraph that lays it out exactly:

The roles in S/M, top and bottom, exactly track the content of patriarchal sexuality: there is a sexual subject who acts on a sexual object. To borrow from Catharine MacKinnon: “Man fucks woman. Subject verb object,”(3) becomes “Top fucks bottom. Subject verb object.” There simply is no difference in content between patriarchal roles and S/M roles, or between S/M sexuality and patriarchal sexuality. What is sexy about S/M is the supposed complementary/oppositional roles and the eroticization of dominance and subordination. If force is not used, it is acted out in “play” scenes. If there is no “natural” complementarity of male dominance and female submission, it is created through role-playing. Prison scenes, rape scenes, master-slave scenes, teacher-student scenes - in each of these the disparity of power is consciously, specifically, the erotic thrill of it. So too with the designation of “tops” and “bottoms,” butch and femme roles, as used in, appropriated by, S/M - where “natural” sex role dominance is not present, dominance is created. The purpose of the scenes and roles is exactly to replicate the top-bottom dominance sexuality, the erotic kick of power disparity, that is the sine qua non of patriarchal sexuality.

Her implication is that being a sub, being a slave, being a bottom, whatever you want to call it, is completely passive. That basically, all you do is lay there while your top whips you, drips hot candle wax on you, ties you up in restraints, and so on. The top gives and the bottom receives. That the dynamic goes exactly one way. That the top has power and the bottom does not. That the dynamic is identical to the stereotypical heterosexual missionary sex act where the man plunges in and the woman just lays there and takes it. Healthy BDSM relationships just don’t work that way. They have to be highly interactive, with communication and power going both ways. The top has the power to do whatever she wants within the bottom’s boundaries, and the bottom has the power to stop it at any time. Trust is the primary facet of a strong relationship between a top and a bottom, and Ms. Croson does not even acknowledge this. She can’t afford to, since she wants her readers to view BDSM as abusive heterosexual practices taken to an extreme. The top as an angry, controlling wifebeater, the bottom as a submissive victim who can’t even bring herself to leave her abuser.

This is echoed in the beliefs, when inclusion of BDSM practitioners at MWMF was being debated, and some women believed that allowing them on the land would give the subs a chance to escape these obviously abusive relationships. Some suggested setting up workshops to help them get away - of course, none wanted to get away because they love their kinks and have too strong a sense of themselves to allow others to talk them out of it.

After this, she moves to the castle in the swamp - transgender.

Transgender - Structure

The transgender movement’s view of gender is also structured along deeply traditional lines. First, in the view of transgender advocates, gender is simply a matter of individual identity. Where identity springs from is never examined, exactly–it just “is”–and, again, practice follows from identity. Gender remains an innate quality or attribute of the person expressing it. Given this, in transgender movement politics there is no room to question where gender and gender identity come from or whether and how they are constructed and by whom. As a result, the current practice of gender is seen as transhistorical, beyond construction and question. It simply “is” what gender is. What transgender advocates have done is move essentialism from the physical body to the self–to one’s (presumably unconstructed) gender identity.

Second, despite claims of multiple genders, “male” attributes remain male, even if practiced by a physically female body. As do “female” attributes, even if practiced by a physically male body. It is the same patriarchal template: innate, binary, essential and essential to identity. Having used the same template, it is no surprise that transgender exactly reproduces the content and norms of patriarchal gender.

She repeats the same arguments about transgender as she does about BDSM - which is expected, because she wants both equated as the same kinds of “wrong things” in feminist eyes. She again asserts that “where identity springs from is never examined.” What she really means is “Whenever trans people explain their identities, their sense of self, and why they transition, we ignore them and impose our narratives upon their lives. Those invented narratives never examine where identity springs from.” As I mention before, if you differ from the expected norm, you’re almost forced to examine it. I spent years when most kids think about G.I. Joe or Barbies trying to deconstruct what the hell “being a girl” meant vs. “being a boy.” I tried to see myself as a person with both a male and female spirit before I was eight years old. I tried to examine the possibilities that I was just a transvestite, or gay. I questioned constantly how I could know I was a girl when my body said I was a boy. I examined my identity, my sense of self, every way I could think of. I tried to suppress the idea entirely. I never really got to the bottom of it all, but I searched every nook, cranny, and crevice I could find that might give me some hint. I just don’t see how you can grow up with the sense of being one gender, your body being the other sex, and dealing with the messages society sends boys and girls while trying to sort them all out without some serious examinations of what’s going on.

Her argument seems to imply that trans people decide one day that we want to transition, that we’d be more comfortable as the other sex, or life would be easier because we can’t handle being gay - this isn’t much of a stretch, because other articles on Questioning Transgender explicitly lay this out. In her lack of understanding - and her lack of willingness to understand - transgender lives, Ms. Croson imposes patriarchy upon who and what we are.

Her second paragraph borders on nonsense - she wants to get her essentialism jab in, mainly. She seems to be claiming that transgender asserts that female actions are female, even when practiced by someone with a male body, and vice versa. Again, speaking from my own experience, I don’t really view actions as masculine or feminine, but society does - society tells us that wearing makeup and dresses is feminine, and being aggressive and playing sports is masculine. Not trans people. Trans people simply have to live in this world where society already has existing definitions of masculinity and femininity. We’re not reinforcing gender roles by transitioning. We’re trying to live our lives by transitioning. Trans women do not adopt exclusively feminine gendered traits when transitioning, and trans men do not adopt exclusively masculine gendered traits. This would be easy to establish if Ms. Croson tried to learn anything at all about transgender people, rather than impose her own restrictive worldview on us.

Moving on to content, she again makes the claim that the “transgender movement” is to support and practice what it deems to be “transgressive” genders based on one’s personal gender identification. I can’t speak for everyone, but whenever someone says near me “is it a man or a woman?” I don’t think “wow, I really transgressed his gender world and turned it upside down.” I look for easy exits and potential witnesses in case he decides I have to die to prove he’s straight. This is because - as I mentioned in the part 1 - whether or not I want to be transgressive is beside the point. Transitioning from male to female or female to male is transgressive, and society’s constructed in such a way as to punish these transgressions. Transitioning as a political goal to “transgress” or “freak the mundanes” is a really poor reason. Criticizing it because we don’t transgress is like criticizing lesbians because they don’t look for enough boyfriends - it’s not even relevant to what we’re doing. The same applies to telling us that we should want to transgress - that instead of becoming women, we should live as feminine males. This assumes that we don’t engage in any self-examination and maybe never considered that we could try that and found it completely lacking.

The content section attacks transsexualism and transitioning for not violating gender norms, for being satisfied with moving from male to female and female to male. It’s rather thoroughly mired in the feminist theory about how gender is constructed is completely 100% accurate and cannot be contradicted. In this, it’s more like a belief than a theory. There’s no need to offer proofs or examine data, it’s just asserted to be the truth and we’re supposed to accept it as dogma. It’s a way that feminism has deconstructed sexism, but it’s never succeeded in truly deconstructing transgender. When faced with people who fail to fit the “theory,” many adherents choose to attack those people as aberrations rather than acknowledge that real and lived experiences should take primacy over theory of what those experiences should be.

Further, gender hierarchy remains intact. Transgender politics does nothing to disrupt the positions of women and men in the gender hierarchy. The transgender ideology of gender identity helps to maintain the lines of male power by accepting prescriptive gender definitions of what it is to be a man (or a woman) and then acting on those definitions. Accordingly, those males not manly enough to be men simply become and are made into women, either in body or in identity or both. All those who have fallen from patriarchal grace simply “are” women because it is precisely this fall from “real manhood” that marks them as women– as lesser than men. Transgender movement ideology simply participates in making “not men” real in the world as women. This, obviously, does nothing to change what it means to be a woman under conditions of male dominance–not a man and also lesser than a man. Further, transgender politics makes “staying a woman” always a choice. Thus, in many ways it renders women’s choices to oppose gender hierarchy as women and on behalf of women incomprehensible.

I picked this paragraph out because she resorts to a couple of favorite offensive generalizations about trans women: “those males not manly enough to be men are simply become and are made into women,” and “Transgender movement ideology simply participates in making ‘not men’ real in the world as women.”

The problem with the first assertion is the idea that there’s social pressure on feminine men to become women. This is entirely opposite from the truth, of course. Social pressure is on feminine men to become more manly, and those who do not go along are punished harshly. This also implies that the main population from which trans women come is feminine men. This is not true - men, no matter how feminine, know they are men. Go find the most flaming gay man you can find, and ask him if he’d consider becoming a woman - odds are he’ll say “hell no.” Finally, this erases the fact that trans women usually grow up with a certain experience - the persistent sense that the body is the wrong sex, that one is a girl and not a boy. It just pretends that trans women are just like feminine men, and are thus “failed men” who couldn’t hack it as men. This is actually contrary to a lot of late transitioners who have families and careers, who are succeeding rather well (outwardly, at least) at being men, when they’re simply coping or being forced to cope rather than transition earlier.

The second assertion is frustrating because it goes back to the idea that trans women are “not men” and all “not men” are categorized as “women.” This is really a categorization of trans women as “not women,” or a statement that our gender is invalid because we were born with male bodies. It erases our experiences as women - not appearing to society or viewing ourselves as not-men, but appearing to society and viewing ourselves as women. We get the same sexism any other woman gets. We’re not in some limbo state where we’re gendered “female” by default. When someone does perceive that we’re trans, we’re not shuffled into the category of “woman,” but into the category of “freak,” “pervert,” we’re thirdgendered as other, we’re not seen as valid women. I would call Ms. Croson’s analysis here thoroughly wrong. She views the experience of being transsexual through the lens of cissexual privilege, which allows her to make any assumptions she wishes about our motivations, our history, our truthfulness, our narratives, and not give any weight to what we say or do.

However, while men can always become “not men” women cannot ever leave behind our status as women and become “real” men. One can not help but think of Brandon Teena–for women, the inter-gender terrorism never stops, regardless of what identity one claims or feels. This is a central issue transgender politics often misses. FTMs remain women and, as such, targets of male violence. One could say Brandon was murdered because she transgressed gender boundaries. And it would be accurate. But it is also at least as accurate to say that what Brandon didn’t have was access to male power. She was, as a woman, presumptively a target of gender violence, with or without any transgender identity she may have had. It was no accident or fortuitous occurrence or mistake that Brandon was raped before she was murdered. But it is this gendered violence the transgender movement elides by casting Brandon solely in a transgendered identity and the violence against her as being against “him” and simply motivated by hatred of “his” transgender identity. Clearly, Brandon was attacked as an act of preserving male power: she was a woman who acted “like” a man. To the extent that that was a transgender identity (and we just don’t know that it was for Brandon) she was murdered because she was transgender. But one can’t elide the fact that Brandon was, in fact, in the world, ultimately gendered woman–a target for male violence, tellingly, the gendered crime of rape.

This one comes with some pretty heavy assumptions as well: That trans men suffer more from male violence than trans women, and that the violence he suffered was because he was a woman who didn’t know his place as a woman. First, Ms. Croson deliberately uses feminine pronouns because she knows just how deeply offensive it is to do this to trans people - it’s like calling a cis woman a “cunt,” a “whore,” or a “slut.” A way to demean the target utterly. She also assumes that Brandon was attacked because he was discovered to be a woman, but not because he was trans. This is typical for radical feminists, who deny and ignore intersectionality - that Brandon was raped and murdered because he was a female-bodied person who presented as and was accepted as a man before the “truth” was discovered. In other words, what happened to him is not unlike what happened to Gwen Araujo,. Ms. Croson would never acknowledge that, however, because Gwen was a trans woman (and thus born male, and thus not subject to male violence), and because it would require her to acknowledge that trans men and trans women both suffer violent, vicious, bloody hate crimes for being trans men and trans women.

Her clear implication in the above paragraph is that trans men suffer far more male violence than trans women, but looking at Remembering Our Dead, it’s pretty clear that a large number of trans women are murdered every year. The fact is that being trans all too often means getting murdered by someone who objects to who we are. It’s also fine to portray trans women especially as deserving victims of violence, as shown in the the NCIS episode, “Dead Man Talking.” In this episode, one of the characters unknowingly goes on a date with a trans woman to get some information. While she’s in the restroom, the guy gets a call telling him that she’s trans. When she returns, he draws his gun - not before he finds out she’s trans, but after. She is shot and killed by his superior. The outcome? Said character is teased for kissing a man. Jimmy Kimmel casually jokes about murdering a trans woman with an axe after discovering she’s trans and doesn’t even get a slap on the wrist from his producer or the network. Since Ms. Croson must present men as the oppressors and women as the oppressed, trans men must be presented as the only real victims of male violence.

Of course, this is all evidence that society doesn’t like it when we change sex, which is true. She denies that the violence has anything to do with being trans, which is completely false - if Brandon Teena had been Teena Brandon all along, and didn’t date any girls, odds are he wouldn’t have been raped and murdered for his transgression.

Now we get some more gender essentialism from Charlotte:

The attacks by parts of the transgender movement on women-only spaces like Festival exhibit the transgender movement’s unstated assumption of the intractability of male power and female powerlessness. Camp Trans attacks Festival because Festival is women-only space. Because women have less power than men. Because it’s easy and safe to attack women. It’s an interesting sort of “horizontal” hostility - with women, once again, on the receiving end but with transgendered politics supplying the rationale. By their efforts to be admitted to womyn-only spaces, they implicitly recognize both their own powerlessness and the power of men to make them so. They are assuming that their lack of male gender conformity “makes” them women in some immutable and intractable way, and thus powerless in the face of male power. What does it mean when a group of people perfectly positioned, in whose interest it undoubtedly is, to attack and deconstruct what it means to be a man in patriarchy, accept their status as “not-men” as a gender identity and call that identity “woman?”

The transgender movement’s push to deconstruct woman and appropriate the identity woman says something about male power. It says male power and the class men is too powerful, and perhaps too important, to deconstruct. Deconstructing men and masculinity is mostly left to gay men–who aren’t, for the most part, interested in deconstructing it, either. Instead they seem mostly interested in getting and keeping male power for themselves. And they’re willing to sacrifice “femme men” and women to male power to get it for themselves. So, while the class of men may be expanded to include butch gay men, it’s not deconstructed so long as the price of admission is being a “real man”–i.e., always on top.

She interprets the fact that trans women would like to be included in women-only spaces as “the unstated assumption of the intractability of male power and female powerlessness,” or rather, “that women aren’t allowed to say no to men.” It couldn’t possibly be that we legitimately see ourselves as women, that our gender as women is valid, and that we identify with women - it must be that we wish to violate space set aside for women because that’s what men do. She makes it clear we can’t have a valid gender as women. She mischaracterizes Camp Trans as attacking women-only space, rather than challenging the discrimination the policy enshrines. She then refers to this as “horizontal hostility” with women on the receiving end, never mind that while you can find reams of articles and piles of books written by cis women about how trans women are evil and horrible men who are out to destroy womanhood, you won’t find many writings by trans women attacking cis women as a monolithic group. There is no trans version of Janice Raymond writing “The Cissexual Empire.” These “feminists” are constantly on the offensive toward trans women - referring to us as “men,” claiming that hormone therapy and surgery “rapes women’s bodies,” calling the hormones and surgery “mutilation,” accusing us of being patriarchal agents provocateur out to destroy feminism from within. Deriding us for benefiting form male privilege, calling us “Frankenstein’s monster.” There is so much anti-trans woman hate speech enshrined in feminist writings it alternately depresses and angers me to think about it, but we’re the ones engaging in horizontal hostility toward them?

She goes on to say that we’re perfectly positioned to deconstruct and appropriate the “identity woman” and that this is an expression of male power - in other words, she’s making the assertion that the fact that we seek to become women proves that we’re really men, and that by transitioning, we’re saying that the “class men” is too important to deconstruct. Notice how she also conveniently forgets about trans men now that she no longer has to prop Brandon Teena’s death as evidence of male oppression against women. It’s all about how the trans women are oppressing the powerless women of MWMF.

The other thing prevalent in these paragraphs is how no one’s putting enough effort into deconstructing gender. Although, she really does put most of the onus for deconstructing gender onto trans women, none at all onto trans men, and complains a bit about how gay men don’t bother either. She’s continuing to assert that deconstructing gender is more important than living one’s life. Personally, that’s not a sacrifice I think is worth making for her revolution. I don’t want to live a joyless life with suicidal end as the inevitable end just to satisfy someone else’s political mandates. Why must my life bend to her politics? Why can’t her politics acknowledge that people like me exist? Hate.

She goes on to talk about the powerlessness of women as a class, and how deconstructing “woman” is no help to how helpless women are. Remember when she complained that the responses to her arguments are that she denies women agency? Well, here she is, denying women any agency. Powerless? Women aren’t powerless. Women can have white privilege, cissexual privilege, able-bodied privilege, economic privilege, heterosexual privilege, and so on. When white middle-class women assert that women are powerless as a class, they’re asserting all of these privileges at once to ignore that these privileges even exist.

Her final paragraph opens with “In transgender politics, the purpose of transgender identity is to allow people to live out their ‘true’ gender identity. But the idea and practice of transgender identity participates in keeping the lines of masculinity and male power clear.” First, she’s refuting the “Against politics, not people” lie that Questioning Transgender Politics operates under by immediately conflating the imaginary politics with the very real issue that trans people transition as a survival move. She then goes on to say that trans people are thus limited in political action to our transition and nothing else. We can’t fight or deconstruct sexism because according to her, our very existence legitimizes sexism. Never mind that if trans people are accepted as having valid gender identities, that does call the whole structure into question. If a person seen as a woman today can be seen as a man next year, be treated as a man, and receive a man’s privileges and opportunities, what does that mean? It doesn’t mean the man became a different person in that year, it means he changed how the world sees him. It clearly shows just how artificial sexism really is.

She says that “male power doesn’t care about who the women are; just who the real men are” and that those who do not qualify as real men get to become women, thus negating the need to examine what defines men. This just goes back to the idea that trans women are “failed men” rather than something else - a category that Charlotte Croson has no room for, nor does she want to make room for us. Her transmisogyny just plain rejects the idea that anyone born with a male body could really truly honestly become a woman, actually be a woman. That there’s anything about us that demands womanhood. She wants to reduce our lives to how we relate to manhood, not how we relate to womanhood. This refusal to accept the reality of our lived experiences is only superficially tied into the idea that we should deconstruct manhood, that we are simply men becoming not-men (and thus defaulting to womanhood), that we’re trying to transgress gender and failing, is simply a need to justify why “those icky trannies can’t join our party.”

She goes on to again erase the idea that trans people suffer violence for being transgendered. I’m sure that’s a comfort to Gwen, whose murderer screamed “I’m not gay!” as he bludgeoned her to death. She also reasserts that trans men cannot ever cross the line and be treated as men in the same way as trans women cross the line and are treated as women. Given that she bases this entirely on Brandon Teena’s murder, and doesn’t actually refer to any other trans men, who assimilate as men, and are treated as men, her conclusion is kind of suspect. Similarly, she doesn’t acknowledge the sheer amount of misogynistic vitriol directed at trans women from every part of society - how our lives are disposable, how we’re steroetyped as everything from evil seductive deceivers to murderers to junkie prostitutes to pathetic men who could never be taken as a real woman. She ignores how thoroughly trans women are objectified in the media and how we’re often reduced to nothing more than the shape of our genitals. She’s erasing the real oppression trans men and women experience, as well as the acceptance we do receive when we’re treated as men and women.

She finally reaches her conclusion. She criticizes Camp Trans (finally remembering again that she was writing this about how awful Camp Trans is for criticizing MWMF, not how all trannie women in the entire world hate cis women) for not getting their idea of gender from feminism, as if the only valid source of gender discussion is feminism. To be honest, I would say that some feminists have taken an imperialistic approach to gender - they treat gender and discussion of what gender means as their property, something they are unquestionably correct about. Any challenge to their dogma is relentlessly attacked as patriarchal. They’re unwilling to listen to those who experience gender in a way that no one else does, because our understanding of gender is threatening to their beliefs about it. I would go so far as to say that they’re appropriating and colonizing transgender experiences by recasting them in the ways that Charlotte portrays them in her article.

She goes on to say:

In a culture that is still male-dominant, patriarchal, and white, the idea of women determining women is radical. And I’m using the term women to mean women who were born as women and raised as girls. I focus more on the “raised as girls” part because to me that feels like one of the most profound experiences of how I got to be a woman…. People don’t have gender dysphoria because they feel like they’re the other gender. All women, I think, go through gender dysphoria…. They can tell you the moment they realized that having to put on a bra changed their lives dramatically. And in my culture that meant wearing a girdle at age eleven, so that my butt wouldn’t shake and my tits wouldn’t move, so that men wouldn’t look at me. It was my responsibility to make sure that grown men didn’t look at me at age eleven! That is a particular experience of being a woman in Mississippi culture, and I feel that kind of experience needs to be interrogated, and it does get interrogated at Michigan. Because it isn’t recognized that there is that complexity of the gender of being a woman.

First, she establishes that she wants to be able to tell trans women that we’re not women, by implying that all cis women are united in this. It is probably the most substantial argument that she offers against the idea that trans women can be women. Unfortunately, it’s not quite that unilateral. When I’m in public, I’m seen as a woman, as are most trans women. We just are. Heck, we’re often seen as cis women. If we live 24 hours a day as women, we’re seen as women, and we see ourselves as women, a social consensus builds up that we are women. It’s unavoidable. Of course, we are sometimes read as trans. Reading Ms. Croson, it seems she would think that we’d immediately be accepted as men and extended male privilege. What actually happens is - contempt, condescension, invasive questions, slurs, and even violence. Being accepted as women is a matter of life or death for trans women once we’ve transitioned. In saying that she wants to vote all trans women out of “class woman,” she’s basically wishing that we’d just die. Maybe not so substantial after all.

She then talks about being raised as girls because this is the linchpin of the “you can’t be real women” argument from MWMF, and presents a smokescreen over the idea that there’s anything bigoted or discriminatory about the policy. This erases the idea that different women have different upbringings based on race, class, disability, and so on, and doesn’t even begin to examine the kind of childhoods that trans people have. If the cis women at MWMF were willing to discuss these things with trans women, we could probably find common ground, even if not identical childhoods. This is really just an excuse to essentialize womanhood.

She also makes the claim that “people don’t have gender dysphoria because they feel like they’re the other gender.” I assume she’s missing a word and is trying to say that’s not the only reason people ahve gender dysphoria. If she said what she literally means, then she’s wrong - people do have gender dysphoria, or however you want to define it, because they feel like they’re the other gender. There’s probably more than a million trans people in America alone, and we go to the doctors, they don’t diagnose us and convince us this is what we need. She then tries to conflate dissatisfaction with how girls are treated with gender dysphoria - again, she’s trying to appropriate transgender for herself and redefine it. There’s a difference between being unhappy with how you’re treated because of your gender, and being unhappy because your gender does not match your sex. I’ve experienced both, and they’re not even remotely the same.

As for her example about her upbringing, I would not deny that this needs interrogating and unpacking. I remember when my parents first told me (at 18) that I was required to start wearing a bra, and I didn’t care for it much myself…oh, wait, I wasn’t supposed to have that experience, because you only get it if you were born female. But seriously, while I agree with her that it’s good to talk about that stuff, I don’t believe for a second that the entire festival is given over to that. It’s large enough to absorb a few hundred trans women, and that kind of discussion won’t go away.

When gender is reduced to personal identity, gender as hierarchy recedes into the background. The reality and complexity of what it means to be in the class woman in the gender hierarchy we live in is lost.

This is just an assertion. First, she assumes that because gender identity is something trans people have to live with, that this reduces gender to personal identity. I’m not sure how she reaches this conclusion if it isn’t by magic, because there’s really nothing to support it. If trans people really did reduce gender to “identity,” and erased the reality and complexity of it, we wouldn’t ever need to transition, because we could just assert ourselves as men and women, and that would be it. It’s not that simply, and she erases the reality and complexity of trans people’s lives by making such an assertion.

For the S/M movement, choosing gender and alliance with the transgender movement has given S/M something that it didn’t publicly have or acknowledge previously. It allows gender and the role it plays in S/M to come out of the closet. Now, gender is a sex toy. Gender is revealed as a constitutive part of the erotic dynamic of S/M. Dominance is eroticized, yes, but gender dominance specifically is eroticized. So the assertions that gender somehow is not involved, or is transcended, in S/M is revealed as a lie. Pat Califia, a founder of the lesbian S/M movement, now identifies as transgendered and is transitioning to become male. It is telling that in describing her motivations for seeking a sex-change, Califia states: “I want people to call me sir who are not my property.”(8) Ironically, Riki Wilchins also acknowledges the link between gender and sexuality when she describes “an erotic economy based on difference that actually requires a gender regime in the first place….”(9) This from someone who isn’t unhappy with the gendered alternatives. One must assume that Wilchins means the sexual alternatives, as well. One wonders how much more explicit the link between gender hierarchy and the eroticization of dominance and subordination needs to get before the lie that S/M is feminist is finally exposed.

Her first couple sentences are odd - it almost sounds like she believes that the transgender movement gave BDSM practitioners the ability to acknowledge gender and gender roles. Almost like she’s saying that the transgender movement contaminated BDSM with more freedom of gender expression or something. I imagine that BDSM has played games with gender expression for a bit longer than Camp Trans has been around, though. I mean, forced feminization is one of the stereotypes. I don’t think they needed validation for that.

I also like how she implies that Patrick Califia transitioned because he was into BDSM, and not because he had, you know, a legitimately male gender. She also asserts that since gender dominance is eroticized in BDSM, that it doesn’t really transcend gender. Of course, this is a null argument because I doubt BDSM practitioners actually claim this. Also, I think that it’d be pretty easy to create a laundry list of things that are eroticized in BDSM in addition to gender dominance, and that these only really show what people get off on, not what power structures they’re supporting.

The comment about Riki Wilchins acknowledging the link between gender and sexuality doesn’t make sense. Sex, itself, is largely defined by humans in terms of the genders of the participants. This is a huge part of society. To deny that gender and sex have any relationship is to deny the existence of sexual orientation and, again, a laundry list of kinks.

In both the S/M and transgender movements gender and sexuality are viewed solely as matters of personal choice, predilection and identity. The highest value is that one be allowed to practice them without restriction as to time, place or political analysis. Both the S/M and transgender movements are firmly rooted in liberal ideals of individualism, personal identity, and personal choice antithetical to class analysis and critiques of gendered power. By adopting this ideology of personal choice as the highest freedom, both the S/M and transgender movements obscure the feminist critique of gendered power relations–gendered power relations which are constitutive of their practices and ideologies. These movements analytically locate sexuality and gender outside of male power, outside of the gender hierarchy where women live, and refuse to acknowledge how deeply implicated they are in the creation and maintenance of that very hierarchy. Male power and its construction of both sexuality and gender as tools of women’s oppression has disappeared from critique and analysis. These movements simply fail to transgress sexuality and gender as they are currently constructed. Not only do they fail to transgress gender, their stated goal, they reinforce sexual and gender hierarchy at every turn. Thus, in a feminist analysis, the goals of these movements are antithetical to feminist goals and the transgender and S/M movements and ideologies are in opposition to feminism.

I like how she starts off by claiming that “gender and sexuality are viewed solely as matters of personal choice,” while still acknowledging predilection and identity. She both implies that this is something we can and do actively choose to be, and implies that our identities aren’t valid - but since this entire article is about asserting these things, it’s not surprising.

She goes on to say that trans and BDSM “movements” are rooted in liberal ideas that are antithetical to class analysis and critiques of gendered power. She’s never really given a good reason as to how being trans or into BDSM makes one incapable of these analyses and critiques, just a raft of assumptions about what being trans or into BDSM means, and how those assumptions mean these things. She wants to firmly establish that transgender and BDSM are both about male power, and about female subordination, and how we fail to transgress sexuality and gender, and how this unwillingness to suppress who we are - something Charlotte Croson most certainly does not ask of herself - makes us patriarchal enemies to feminism.

This entire article is focused primarily on establishing trans people and people who practice BDSM as enemies, as hostiles that must be kept away at all costs. She doesn’t want dialogue or equality, she wants it clear that we’re inferior to the ideologically pure feminist cis women and shouldn’t be allowed nearby. Just as with other bigoted writings, she feels free to make any assertions she sees fit, twist the truth wherever needed, and outright lie as the situation demands. This is because the goal - expunging trans women and women who practice BDSM from MWMF and feminism in general - is far more important than the truth about trans women and women who practice MWMF. Where our lives, our experiences, our truths are inconvenient, they must be aggressively erased, replaced, and attacked. Her ideology simply cannot withstand honest and open contact with the enemy.

I will admit that the arguments made in this article are more sophisticated than those in the other articles I’ve critiqued. She did try to phrase things in ways that are less dismissable, even while making the same points that Karla Mantilla made. Unfortunately, her arguments really are the same, just dressed more attractively. Her attempt to conflate BDSM with trans people was interesting too, as it allows her to present not just the hostile trannies, but their allies on the inside, the hostile leatherdykes. Now, I don’t actually know if Camp Trans and the BDSM attendees have any alliance, although I wouldn’t be surprised. Both are aggressively demonized, and the only difference is that they actually let the BDSM women inside.

Also, given the choice between politics that mandate that some people be crushed under ideological needs and the freedom to live my life as I see fit, I will take the latter every day. Whatever Charlotte Croson’s so-called “feminism” is, it’s not feminism. It’s not about equality. It’s about hate and bigotry. You can’t tear down the master’s house with the master’s tools, Charlotte. Try not to sound so McCarthyesque when talking about trans or BDSM in the future? Try some basic human respect next time.

36 Responses to “Sex, Lies, Transmisogyny, and the Heteronormativity of BDSM, pt. 2”

  1. Trin Says:

    “If every woman can choose to love women instead of men, then of course every woman can choose to ignore their desire to engage in BDSM - and in fact, BDSM desires, like lesbianism, is just a wardrobe you can choose to wear or not, as you desire. Aside from the fact that political lesbianism is appropriation and colonization of lesbian culture, it’s also convenient rhetoric when you encounter kinks you want to stamp out.”

    Right, exactly. Which says what about the people who didn’t *want* to be kinky? When I was a teen I thought I was turning into Jeffrey Dahmer or something. I wanted to die, because I feared that I was turning into a monster. Even once I started to think maybe I wasn’t, I was going around asking every shrink in my area if ze was *sure* I didn’t need to be locked up. Yet somehow I wasn’t strong enough to keep “examining.”

  2. Trin Says:

    “She also makes the claim that “people don’t have gender dysphoria because they feel like they’re the other gender.” I assume she’s missing a word and is trying to say that’s not the only reason people ahve gender dysphoria. If she said what she literally means, then she’s wrong - people do have gender dysphoria, or however you want to define it, because they feel like they’re the other gender.”

    I don’t think there’s a word missing. I think she’s saying that according to her worldview, there is no “gender dysphoria.” There’s only this feeling “I’m too feminine and it’s hard to make it through the world as a very feminine male, and I’d be stressed out less if people just read me as a woman instead. I think I’ll make them do that now.”

    Which totally ignores all the narratives I’ve heard where people say “I tried to be ‘a different kind of woman/man.’ I felt like maybe I was being transgressive and cool, but I wasn’t being me.”

  3. Trin Says:

    And that I think is the core of this: there is no self, no “I”, no “me” to be true to. Because flavors of feminism like this deem inner selves and subjective certainty to be “Enlightenment liberalism.” That’s part of why I’m so keen on defending Mill — whatever we can learn from Marx or Freud or Hegel, I don’t think “we have no selves” is useful. Or accurate.

  4. Xakara Says:

    I have no idea how long I’ve had this page open trying to take in the information and make some sort of sense out of it.

    And don’t think me naive to the oppression out there. I’m a Bisexual-Dual Gendered-Pagan-Poly-Woman of Color-In an Interracial Relationship, who writes urban fantasy and paranormal romances that explores all of that because frankly someone has too. So believe me, I’ve heard it all, I’ve been called it all, and I’ll be called more of it down the line as my books come out.

    I guess no matter how many issues I face in a given day, it still takes me off guard to know that rational individuals–capable of dressing themselves and crossing the street alone–could possess such a small picture view of the world that’s less progressive than the average six year old.

    I am even more lost when these individuals are part of a struggle for their own rights and wish to reach out and deny the rights of others. I’m rather astounded time and again that there’s such a deep reservoir of bullshit from which to mine such nuggets of wisdom as “transwomen violate what it means to be women by not being men in a different way”. Even typing that I feel like my brain wants to explode in my skull and leak out of my ear.

    At the same time I’m not surprised by the argument, or any argument to exclude transwomen. I’ve heard every excuse to deny me as a bisexual woman–including the idea that I don’t really exist. I’m either straight with curiousity about women, or I’m lesbian and hiding behind the patriarchal construct of a het relationship. Or my favorite, I’m just confused and it will all sort out to lesbianism in the end. Just as there are those arguing whether there should be a T in LGBT community, there are those who want to strip it back down to LG and let the rest of us run off to form our own groups away from their burgeoning acceptance because we’re harder to accept and understand by the right-wing heterosexual majority.

    Perhaps it’s different for me growing up as a woman of color in that I immediately see the parallel of light skin/dark skin cultural politics in this, so it can’t be prettied up and made acceptable to me no matter what language is used. Just as in cultural politics where lighter skin is easier to accept for the white majority and so those light-skinned Blacks and Latinos were, (and in some areas still are), more valued in their families than darker skinned relatives; those of us who don’t fit the nice, neat, image of homosexual acceptance are left out of family photos and not invited to the reunion the year it makes it into the local paper. We’re the dark-skinned sister whose diploma is on the wall but whose graduation photo isn’t anywhere to be seen.

    Nobody wants to be called a bigot but I’ve grown up hearing the bullshit about one thing or another other folks didn’t like about me and I know “isms” when I hear them. I’m a Black Creole woman, raised in a housing project while attending private school from 1st through 12th grade. I wasn’t light enough for light skinned Blacks with color issues trying to be accepted, nor dark enough for dark-skinned Blacks who felt I couldn’t understand their oppression (like the argument that Transwomen can’t understand the oppression of born females, or that as a Bisexual I threaten Lesbian acceptance or don’t understand what Lesbians go through in loving other women). I was too white because of the way I speak, which offended me to no end as it implies Blacks can’t be educated and utilize the English language properly. At the same time, I was too radical because I felt that I wanted to be more than tolerated, I wanted to be respected for my African, Native and European heritages demanding the mixture be acknowledged without taking away my Black identity to do it.

    Depending on what side of an issue you were on, you could throw an “ism” at me. Classism, Racism, Sexism, all of it works and let’s toss in some religiousity while we’re at it, because even god doesn’t like my heathen ass.

    I was raised to be a strong, Black woman facing a world of adversity. I don’t care if people like me and don’t particularly want to be liked by everyone, and I won’t let something get in the way of what I want because I might not be perceived as nice if I do so. By American society’s standpoint, that alone makes me less feminine because it’s a masculine trait. I’m not quite tall enough or dark enough to face all the issues my fellow women of color face with being masculinized, but I have my share. The mentality of being happy over being liked leave me perceived as inherently more capable and thereby inherently more male as if the two go hand in hand. And it’s not just by men, white women treat just as male at times even while accepting me as female and a “sister” in the cause. I incite the same knee-jerk defference women are taught to exhibit to men which mentally classifies me as a man despite nothing about me outwardly being male. I don’t dress “like a man” or in any way take on the effects of what society says makes a man; but America has been socialized through stereotypes dating back to slavery that I’m inherently less feminine than a white woman, and this stereotype is reinforced by needing to stand up for myself and never back down since I was starting out at a disadvantage. If I’m less of a woman, then by default of a binary gender system, I am more of a man.

    I’m a man who isn’t male while still being a woman who is clearly female. What is that if not a fluid gender concept? And why, through cultural application, is it okay for society to see my gender as fluid, but then it can deny the concept of fluid gender as a whole? If my cultural upbringing made me more traditionally masculine and I can be treated more like a man in some situations, but then more like a woman in all others; why then can’t another’s hormones and brain chemistry be just as clear in feminizing or masculinzing them despite whatever genitalia they were born with? How is culture more defining than biology?

    Do you see why my head wants to explode? I’m struggling from a unique perch in that I’m treated as if my dual-gender identity is a given, but if I declare it outloud, then I’m suddenly a confused sexual anomoly. I was taught to be nurturing and kind, I have men talk to my breasts all the time and they have since I got them at 8 yrs old. I’m intimately knowledgable about the violence against women by men since a rape at 9. I am the epitome of what it means to grow up female in the “Wilds of the World” and come out the other side a picture of strength and hope. I’m why they create “Safe Womyn’s Space” to gather in. Yet a particular mix of hormones in the womb, along with culturalization has me identify as both male and female as well as Bisexual (well Pansexual, but I don’t have the energy to explain that most days); and likely learning to defend myself in school as the only brown face in a sea of white contributed to my Domme tendencies, while being raised by three family members prepared me for a poly-fidelity mindset. Why do these things make me less acceptable to a movement that would otherwise have me on the basis of a monthly period alone? And if they will have me, then why not you or someone else?

    I agree that when it comes to political strides you sometimes have to take what you can get so that you have a political leg to stand on when you go back for more. But that doesn’t mean kicking everyone to the curb that might not look good in the family photo.

    My identity is deeply rooted in my femaleness. It’s rooted in my wombspace and my moon cycle and my hourglass shape and my love of language and detail and everything else that goes with having a female brain and body.But my identity as a woman is not based on my clitoris or my lack of a penis. I’m a woman because I know I’m a woman. If I never give birth I’m still a woman. After menopause I’ll still be a woman. If I were to lose my breasts I’d be devastated because I like all my body parts, they’re mine, but I wouldn’t cease to be a woman. It is my identity because my brain is more feminized than masculinized and that feminization is called womanhood and so I’m a woman. How in the hell could I think to deny another woman her womanhood because she was born with a clit bigger than mine that she should pee from while standing up?

    You KNOW your gender, and you know if you’re more than one gender or absent of gender because the brain is rather vocal on it from infancy. Just as it’s vocal on sexual attraction. Once you factor out learning the words themselves, no one had to tell me I was a girl or that I was bisexual anymore than they had to tell me that I was Black. I’m fortunate in that most of what I am internally matched up with what I appear externally. I can’t fault someone else because they were less fortunate and had to go about things the hard way. Nor can I take away from someone who decides to keep their physical sex despite having a different mental gender. It’s harder to reconcile on the eye, but it doesn’t make it less true. And something in my fundamentally aches at the idea that other people want to undo my truth, your truth and the truth of others. I think part of my brain just doesn’t want to accept that they exist, breathing my air and using it to spoke devaluing nonsense.

    I’m sorry, I completely turned this into a blog of its own rather than the brief comment I’d initially hoped to share. I guess that despite being a biological female, I took what she was saying against Transfemales personally because I recognize the echoes of my own oppression in it. How in the world she doesn’t hear the echo of her own is beyond me.

    ~X

  5. nexyjo Says:

    these posts are very thorough and an accurate analysis - thanks for taking the time to do this.

  6. belledame222 Says:

    yeah,amazing work.

    I’m still hung up on the “essentialism” crap. because, again, if you REALLY didn’t believe in “essentialism” then you wouldn’t cling so very desperately to “women only space.”

    basically what I get from people like this is, “-you- can and should change in order to fit -this- paradigm instead of -that- one; so that -I- can be more comfortable with myself and my worldview. p.s. men are men and women are women and so shall it ever be. Omeyn.”

    which is nothing new under the sun, really.

  7. belledame222 Says:

    put another way: I’m agnostic on the “selves” question, but if it’s -that- fluid then I really don’t have to worry about the rigid criteria of some -other- asshole, do I?

  8. belledame222 Says:

    also? she’s full of shit if she thinks “liberal” is antithetical to “feminism.” (which one presumes is the case or why would she be bitching and moaning about it?) Feminism as we know it, the very term, COMES FROM the “liberal” tradition, for better and for worse; hello Enlightenment, hello the idea of “rights,” hello Mary frickin’ Wollstonecraft, hello abolition, hello voting rights…

    i certainly buy that there are limitations to this and that our “enlightened” history contains a lot of truly ishy shadow shit that we all need to deal with ’cause it’s biting us in the ass;

    but, if she thinks her “feminism” is somehow -exempt- from all this,

    1) once again, she’s utterly full of shit, and I don’t have time to go into all the reasons why just based on what I know of this -kind- of feminism right down to the idea of “no self” (lemme guess: this person also thinks she’s against postmodernism”)

    2) to the extent that she really -is- illiberal, frankly? i want no part of it, cause -that’s- where the creepy-ass Red Guard comes oozing out. if she’s all MIMsy then fuck that noise. go frolic in the woods or whatever it is but leave the rest of us the hell out of it. Authoritarian collectivism by any other name: not a good. Sorry. And, I really don’t care if that makes me bourgeois or insufficiently bellyfeel feminism or whatever it is. It’s creepy fringe bullshit, -no one- wants this, and they can fuck right off if they think they can dominate the discourse. No.

  9. belledame222 Says:

    also? she’s full of shit if she thinks “liberal” is antithetical to “feminism.” (which one presumes is the case or why would she be bitching and moaning about it?) Feminism as we know it, the very term, COMES FROM the “liberal” tradition, for better and for worse; hello Enlightenment, hello the idea of “rights,” hello Mary frickin’ Wollstonecraft, hello abolition, hello voting rights…

    i certainly buy that there are limitations to this and that our “enlightened” history contains a lot of truly ishy shadow shit that we all need to deal with ’cause it’s biting us in the ass;

    but, if she thinks her “feminism” is somehow -exempt- from all this,

    1) once again, she’s utterly full of shit, and I don’t have time to go into all the reasons why just based on what I know of this -kind- of feminism right down to the idea of “no self” (lemme guess: this person also thinks she’s against postmodernism”)

    2) to the extent that she really -is- illiberal, frankly? i want no part of it, cause -that’s- where the creepy-ass Red Guard comes oozing out. if she’s all MIMsy then fuck that noise. go frolic in the woods or whatever it is but leave the rest of us the hell out of it. Authoritarian collectivism by any other name: not a good. Sorry. And, I really don’t care if that makes me bourgeois or insufficiently bellyfeel feminism or whatever it is. It’s creepy fringe bullshit, -no one- wants this, and they can fuck right off if they think they can dominate the discourse. No.

  10. michelle Says:

    belledame222 said: I’m still hung up on the “essentialism” crap. because, again, if you REALLY didn’t believe in “essentialism” then you wouldn’t cling so very desperately to “women only space.”

    See now, that right there says what my muddled brain was spluttering about that argument when reading the email you sent me.

    Because it just doesn’t make sense. Because it is A LIE.

    Because it just doesn’t make sense. Because it is A LIE. Fancy static to cover the real deal, the real issues, the real assumptions, the real situations. Let’s make it about “gender essentialism” (and maybe no one will look at what is really going on here).

    Because as we (Lisa and I on email) have discussed, it seems that the real issue here isn’t any of this static-bullshit-confusing “theory” about essentialism or whatever.

    It’s these white cis feminists aggressively pushing the deep core of their worldview: “We are oppressed. We cannot be oppressors. We are only victims, we cannot be perpetrators of violence.”

  11. Lisa Harney Says:

    Trin: Yeah, exactly. Only political theory that believes you can choose lesbianism would believe you could (or did) choose everything else. I really do find the attitude that people transition, or get into BDSM, or whatever they do without any self-analysis just because they don’t see sex the same way as people like Charlotte Croson or Janice Raymond.

    You’re also probably right about the gender dysphoria thing. I meant to cover “if that’s what she meant, then…” but got sidetracked. I’ve seen the “because I hate how my gender is treated, I must have gender dysphoria too!” argument over and over again, and it’s just appropriation. Reading this article really clarified just how much radical feminist writing appropriates the things they don’t like and changes them into offensive, simplistic, or twisted versions of themselves, or claims the same experiences while simultaneously redefining those experiences.

    Xakara, thank you for your post. I especially like your comparison to bisexuality, because I’ve been running into that a lot with the ENDA thing and gay men bitching about “part time gays” muddying up their movement alongside the trannies. Also, don’t worry about posting blog-length responses - I was doing that too until some people made me start a blog.

    Your last paragraph:

    I’m sorry, I completely turned this into a blog of its own rather than the brief comment I’d initially hoped to share. I guess that despite being a biological female, I took what she was saying against Transfemales personally because I recognize the echoes of my own oppression in it. How in the world she doesn’t hear the echo of her own is beyond me.

    I find myself saying that all the time - when I encounter radical feminists who hate me, when I come across Bob Parks’ rant about how trans women are ‘too funny looking” to be accepted, when I see gay men complaining that trans people and gay people have nothing in common - I ask myself that. Sometimes I ask them that, and they deny it’s even possible to be bigoted against me.

    Nexy,

    You have no idea how much it means to me for you to say that. Thank you.

    Belledame,

    That was my reaction to the liberal comment as well, and why I emphasized “liberal” when I quoted it . . . and why I made the “Party/comrade” snark in the BDSM section,

    I find it funny that you talk about being bourgeois, because her feminism is essentially bourgeois, and that’s part of the reason they have no trouble telling other women who they can be and what they can do. At least, that’s my take. This writing is one of the few things I can look at and say “this writer is trying to define a political correctness from which one must not deviate.”

    Michelle,

    As usual, you just cut right through to the heart of the matter. It has to be a lie, because the stuff they object to about trans women, or BDSMers, or bisexuals, or whomever just isn’t there. They can’t catch us at anything that’s really bad, we just have to be tainted by who we are. To show that taint, they have to define our identities as other.

  12. Trin Says:

    ‘also? she’s full of shit if she thinks “liberal” is antithetical to “feminism.” (which one presumes is the case or why would she be bitching and moaning about it?) Feminism as we know it, the very term, COMES FROM the “liberal” tradition, for better and for worse; hello Enlightenment, hello the idea of “rights,” hello Mary frickin’ Wollstonecraft, hello abolition, hello voting rights…’

    yes. i want to hit people like this over the head with The Subjection of Women. REALLY

  13. Trin Says:

    “You’re also probably right about the gender dysphoria thing. I meant to cover “if that’s what she meant, then…” but got sidetracked. I’ve seen the “because I hate how my gender is treated, I must have gender dysphoria too!” argument over and over again, and it’s just appropriation. Reading this article really clarified just how much radical feminist writing appropriates the things they don’t like and changes them into offensive, simplistic, or twisted versions of themselves, or claims the same experiences while simultaneously redefining those experiences.”

    Yes, exactly. They desperately want gender dysphoria to fit into a particular radfem framing, and as far as I can tell it’s because either

    1) some of them *have* gender dysphoria but feel it’s “braver” not to transition (see the one poem and essay that are I think on that site by someone who chose not to transition). There are a couple of them I occasionally see talking about how they thought about or almost did transition to male, but decided not to. And a few who say things that, well, are so farfetched and odd I don’t know what they mean, but seem to hint at “I hate my body, but the sisterhood of the feminist community makes it OK”

    or

    2) they’re confused between feelings of malaise because sexism says women don’t or shouldn’t do X and gender dysphoria, so they think that a world in which any gender can do anything will make it all better. Also known as the “but we made room for the butches (kinda sorta), what more do you freaks want?” theory.

  14. cicely Says:

    As for her example about her upbringing, I would not deny that this needs interrogating and unpacking. I remember when my parents first told me (at 18) that I was required to start wearing a bra, and I didn’t care for it much myself…oh, wait, I wasn’t supposed to have that experience, because you only get it if you were born female. But seriously, while I agree with her that it’s good to talk about that stuff, I don’t believe for a second that the entire festival is given over to that. It’s large enough to absorb a few hundred trans women, and that kind of discussion won’t go away.

    This is the place where my past defence of the festival boundary really rested. The sharing of the pretty much universal experience of the walls coming in on us as girls - (and with michfest - as lesbians too…) like when our ‘chests’ started to ‘develop’ (god, I hated that word), when we were told girls didn’t play certain sports (I had to stop playing my beloved rugby at around 10 or 11), talk or laugh in loud voices, swear, sit with our legs apart, climb trees - whatever…Our embarrassing and often shaming early days of menstruation - obviously the items list of our socialisation - our ‘making’ into ‘acceptable’ women goes on and on. A big part of feminism for me I think was the unravelling of all that - bearing in mind that I’m a child of the sixties - so women could find our whole human selves and release our power and potential. Michfest women talk about that a lot. The awe when they first realise that everything about the festival was achieved by women raised to believe there was sweet fuck all they “could’ do outside the traditional gendered expectations. One thing I’ve heard said is that if trans women were present that particular awesome thing would be diluted. You couldn’t be sure that a trans woman didn’t learn a skill she was using there that had been acquired when she was perceived as male, and you couldn’t be sure which women were trans women. Hence the idea - held widely by women who don’t share Charlotte’s political beliefs - that the boundary is ‘inclusive’ of a shared experience, albeit a very broad one, and not meant to exclude trans women based on any idea that they are not now women, and experiencing the world as we all do - as women. (Not forgetting the added issues around being trans.)

    When I started seeing the bitter exchanges on the michfest board I started thinking about ‘all’ things and opinions that informed the defence of the boundary and things got a bit wobbly. Women who didn’t appear to be transphobic talked about ‘needing’ the space, which I didn’t really understand, but I took them at their word. It felt disloyal at the time to do otherwise. There were also a small number of trans women there supporting the continuance of the boundary - respecting that the women saying they needed it - even just wanted it - had that right. Some discussion was pretty reasonable and mutually respectful in fact -although I realise that might be hard to believe. Ultimately though, the loudest voices were the least respectful - well - more than that - the most callous, hurtful and bigoted. I finally decided that since it was unlikely that the festival and landowner was ever going to officially or in any way disassociate herself and the festival from the bigots I couldn’t support the event. At that stage I hadn’t abandoned the idea that the boundary was defensible though. That took a whole lot more listening and learning and coming to appreciate the real damage and the depth of damage being done by holding onto the WBW concept and using it as an othering and ’seperating’ practice in all kinds of shared women’s spaces. I do now regard it as cissexual privilege at the least, and at the worst, well - you know.

    I’ve done it again, Lisa - come back to this I mean - picked this bit out of your post - but - you are doing a magnificent job of taking apart the presented arguements on that site and I salute you.

  15. Lisa Harney Says:

    You couldn’t be sure that a trans woman didn’t learn a skill she was using there that had been acquired when she was perceived as male, and you couldn’t be sure which women were trans women.

    This sounds like another incarnation of original sin, unfortunately. :(

    The interesting thing about how you describe the defense of trans-women exclusive space is that it erases what trans women experience in the process of transition, assumes that we don’t experience any social pressure about what’s acceptable for women. When I started transition, I’d taken drama every semester I could in high school. I had learned to project when speaking. When I was transitioning, my roommate - who was also a trans woman - attacked me constantly for that, telling me that women don’t speak that loudly, and that I was a horrible person for actually speaking as I was taught in theater. I ended up internalizing that and lost my ability to just project naturally. I suffered a lecture from my sister (on a mission from my parents) and from my mother about how, since my breasts were developing, I had to wear a bra all the time. I’ve been lectured on how to sit.

    Then you get to dealing with the psychiatrist and therapist. You need two letters for surgery, one from a psych, and one can be from a counselor. The psychiatrist would only prescribe hormones if I wore skirts to his appointments - I couldn’t wear women’s jeans, it had to be skirts and dresses. I had to be heterosexual, I had to - more than want to change my body - hate my body. I had to present a stereotypical image of femininity just to get what I needed to survive. The therapist was the same. I needed to see her years later - I mean, I’d been socially a woman for 10 years, and I don’t even remember what it’s like to present as or be seen as male, and this appointment isn’t me looking for voice training or wanting help with any of the other things she helps with, and she demands I wear a dress or skirt, because “it’s easier to be feminine in those.”

    Anyway, I’m getting sidetracked - trans women do experience these “this is what girls do and this is what girls don’t do and for us it’s not just a matter of social acceptance, but of getting the treatment we need. It might be less so now, I don’t know.

    but I had to go through that crap, it just started at 18 for me, and I got an involuntary and unwanted pass on the menstruation. Banning us because we might have had access to privilege (learning skills that a woman is much less likely to learn) ignores and erases the women that overcome those barriers and get those skills as well.

    We never get the chance to examine this, though, because we’re authoritatively told we can’t ever experience it, that ever having experienced male privilege disqualifies us anyway, and doesn’t even acknowledge our childhoods as girls stuck being socially perceived as boys or the signals we get from that.

  16. Lisa Harney Says:

    Trin, sorry I forgot to respond to you earlier:

    I agree that there’s a strong streak of belief that if the gender binary were destroyed, then trans people would just disappear. I don’t believe this is true, because of course, being trans for me initially had less to do with what girls did vs. what boys did, but with the sense that my body should have been female. I started picking up what girls did and I wanted to do that too because I saw myself as a girl, not because I wanted to do those things just because.

    And yeah, the belief that not transitioning is an easy choice, or the sense that any person could decide to transition at any minute - internalized transphobia when trans people hate themselves and believe that everyone else is on the edge of wanting to change sex. Like internalized homophobia, where gay men (especially) and lesbians deny their sexuality and insist that it’s easy to decide to just be gay, and that they fight against it every moment. There’s quite a few internalized homophobes in fundamentalist christianity, and not surprising there’s internalized transphobes in radical feminism. Both have their similarities.

    And yeah, I just can’t get over the idea that being liberal is antithetical to feminism. If that’s true, I’m done with feminism.

  17. belledame222 Says:

    all of that, plus, once again; people that heavily invested in the Class Man>Class Woman/need for Womens’ Space thing do NOT want the gender binary destroyed. they just think they’re supposed to because all but the fringiest know how reactionary and hateful and -not- feminist their actual position * really sounds when presented candidly.

    *going off the Margins as a whole, and/or various compilations of writings and actions by it boils down roughly to something like

    “Women rule! Men drool! Yes we ARE morally superior, just like the Victorians thought, it’s just we DON’T want to use that to be Angel in the Housewe’re gonna bust out of the yellow wallpaper and, like, build our own compounds. Well, some of us; others are just fine with our husbands while we yell at you for capitulating to the patriarchy, thanks very much. But that’s not important right now! Can you make babies, no i don’t THINK SO, just wait till you’re extinct, mutant! neener. We don’t need transfolk! We don’t need preverts! We don’t need “sexbots!” We don’t need sex workers who aren’t abolitionist, or lesbians who don’t put Radical Wimbon separatists ahead of other queer people, or women of color who don’t put (white) Women First, or “malestream” feminists, or people who look at us funny, or the Wymmyns’ Peoples’ Front! (wankers). THEY CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUUUUUTH! p.s. where’s everybody going?”

  18. ellefromtheeast Says:

    I, too, am on the “What’s the problem with liberalism?” train. Especially here:

    In both the S/M and transgender movements gender and sexuality are viewed solely as matters of personal choice, predilection and identity. The highest value is that one be allowed to practice them without restriction as to time, place or political analysis. Both the S/M and transgender movements are firmly rooted in liberal ideals of individualism, personal identity, and personal choice antithetical to class analysis and critiques of gendered power.

    Isn’t liberal personal choice best possible response? How else do you transgress a hierarchy besides refusing to obey its dictates and living according to personal choice? Your options under a system are exit, voice, and loyalty. I’m sure as hell not loyal to traditional patriarchy, and I’m not going to waste my personal life complaining about it. I’d rather set up camp elsewhere, thank you very much.

    The only complaint I could imagine about this is that trans & BSDM fold weren’t making political efforts to make it possible to take other people with them when they exit, but I don’t think that Ms. Croson is trying to get the leather community off our butts about ENDA. :)

    I understand that Croson doesn’t think that exit is possible. But if that’s the case, why have a women’s only festival? If you want to work within the system, doesn’t that lead you to a collaborationist HillaryClinton version of feminism?

  19. michelle Says:

    The interesting thing about how you describe the defense of trans-women exclusive space is that it erases what trans women experience in the process of transition, assumes that we don’t experience any social pressure about what’s acceptable for women. When I started transition, I’d taken drama every semester I could in high school. I had learned to project when speaking. When I was transitioning, my roommate - who was also a trans woman - attacked me constantly for that, telling me that women don’t speak that loudly, and that I was a horrible person for actually speaking as I was taught in theater. I ended up internalizing that and lost my ability to just project naturally. I suffered a lecture from my sister (on a mission from my parents) and from my mother about how, since my breasts were developing, I had to wear a bra all the time. I’ve been lectured on how to sit.

    Then you get to dealing with the psychiatrist and therapist. You need two letters for surgery, one from a psych, and one can be from a counselor. The psychiatrist would only prescribe hormones if I wore skirts to his appointments - I couldn’t wear women’s jeans, it had to be skirts and dresses. I had to be heterosexual, I had to - more than want to change my body - hate my body. I had to present a stereotypical image of femininity just to get what I needed to survive. The therapist was the same. I needed to see her years later - I mean, I’d been socially a woman for 10 years, and I don’t even remember what it’s like to present as or be seen as male, and this appointment isn’t me looking for voice training or wanting help with any of the other things she helps with, and she demands I wear a dress or skirt, because “it’s easier to be feminine in those.”

    Now now Lisa, there you go with your pesky LIVED EXPERIENCE again!

    As a Wombinnn Born Wombymoon Lesbian born with a vagina, that threatens my Theory of Reality and just makes me want to die!

    Apparently my ability to learn and ability to hear other women’s experiences that aren’t just like mine disappeared somewhere in the White Womoons Born With Vag ™ Menstrual Ritual I participated in sometime in the 70s.

  20. michelle Says:

    holy crap it turned my tm into what looks like the real thing! cool.

  21. Lisa Harney Says:

    Belle,

    all of that, plus, once again; people that heavily invested in the Class Man>Class Woman/need for Womens’ Space thing do NOT want the gender binary destroyed. they just think they’re supposed to because all but the fringiest know how reactionary and hateful and -not- feminist their actual position * really sounds when presented candidly.

    I believe the phrase they like to use on the Margins in times like this is “Hammer. Nail. Bang.” I hate that phrase, but it’s so applicable here.

    Elle,

    Yeah, it’s all about subordination and control, and the school of thought Charlotte espouses is certainly as authoritarian and proscriptive as they come. Being liberal is the enemy to controlling the revolution. Plus, reading Charlotte’s article really made me think of 1984, in a way that the other transphobic writings simply did not.

    Cicely,

    I just realized that my response to you might look like I’m attacking you - I’m not. I love reading your posts and I do respect your opinions. I’ll try to be clearer about who I mean when I talk about the policy in the future.

    Michelle,

    Thank you. That was truly funny. :)

  22. cicely Says:

    Oh, I didn’t feel attacked by you, Lisa, but I did used to be supportive of that group of women with the ‘ever having been male = original sin’ type thinking, in which case, if I had done, fair enough! I was even one of them before that. I was no worse a person then than I am now, but one with erroneous - if that’s the right word - and largely unconsidered beliefs, or at least soft and one-sided ones, which I’m glad to be able to say fell apart at the first real test involving real people - trans women - talking about their actual lives and experience. And then of course, seeing how they were treated in response.

    What I’m trying to get at now is why any woman who isn’t a transphobic radical feminist and who doesn’t see herself as a transphobic person, can describe so called WBW space as a ‘need’. (Which I never did.) What is that about? What really informs it? I’ve seen the arguements for it being a ‘right’, over and over. ‘Defining ourselves as a group’ etc, and even some of the otherwise apparently non-bigots resort to the ‘men can’t accept women saying ‘no’ to them; ‘men take up too much social space’ , ‘men have an aggressive style of arguing’ type stuff - so they’re just not getting past the ‘ex-men’ mindset. Why not? Is it partly because the influence of the transphobic radical feminists goes at least as far with them as providing an almost unconscious justification for not *listening* to or not *believing* trans women when they talk about their own lives? Is this more likely to happen among lesbians who are feminists ( a large percentage of michfest attendees I believe), maybe particularly those who’ve chosen to have little contact with men and who’ve developed an acute awareness of the things they dislike about male behaviour from the times they’ve been forced to be in their company? (These would be the same behaviours heterosexual women and feminists object to in men that can seem magnified to lesbians who don’t generally invite men into our personal lives, or in very small numbers when we do.) Do women who are uncertain struggle with the issue of loyalty? Is the loyalty issue in combination with other factors - including actual transphobia about which they’re in denial - too overpowering? And finally, am I asking the right questions??!! ;) I sound patronising I guess, but some of these did apply to me until I cyber ‘met’ a whole bunch of trans women, so I think I’m an appropriate person to be asking.

    The women who say they do accept trans women ‘as’ women, and don’t even regard them as ‘ex-men’ but want ‘just one week a year in the woods’ without them anyway (are there any of these?) can only be articulating transphobia, can’t they? They’re basically saying they’re uncomfortable with a particular experience of womanhood. All the other differences ‘between’ women don’t matter - but this one does. Uncomfortable doesn’t cut it, though. That’s not about trans women. That’s about them.

    (I keep thinking of that line from Nina Simone’s song ‘Backlash Blues’…..’keep telling them exactly where it’s at so they’ll have no place to hide..’)

    We all live in a transphobic world and we all need to be honest about how much of that we’ve personally absorbed, from whatever source or sources, and help ourselves and each other get over it through understanding so all the hatred and the violence can be stopped. My thing is, even if at this point a so called WBW still feels she has a ‘right’ to discriminate against trans women at any given time - ffs be big enough to give it up! With what it supports and contributes to it’s a morally bankrupt position to maintain. From my point of view this is particularly true if you call yourself a feminist.

    I love what you’re doing with this blog, Lisa, and I should probably start my own from the perspective of a so called WBW who changed her mind and why - so as not to keep side-tracking you on yours. I would if I could but honestly, I lack two things - mainly the time, but also the way with the words! I really don’t think I’m getting a coherent message across…

    And seriously - anyone should feel free to challenge me if and when my cissexual privilege is showing in something I write. I need to know. I don’t give a flying fuck if anyone thinks there’s something wrong with my feminism, but I guess I have to be prepared to stumble my way out of what was up until relatively recently an un-enlightened place around transexuality - and chew the lumps.

  23. Lisa Harney Says:

    First, you’re not sidetracking. This is good stuff.

    If you do want to write a post about it and don’t want to start a blog for that, you can post them here.

    Anyway, accepting the premise that a space for women needs to be free of trans women is already transphobic, or perhaps transmisogynistic. Regardless of how it’s defined, the purpose is to keep trans women out of that space. That doesn’t make everyone who believes such a space is necessary is a transphobic, just that they’re holding a transphobic belief.

    One way that Julia Serano explained this to a woman without pointing out her transmisogyny was to ask a series of questions. It’s not okay to have a trans woman raised as a boy, but is it okay to have:

    a trans woman who was raised as a girl?

    A cis woman who was raised as a boy?

    That’s so abbreviated it may almost be wrong. ANYway, she’s convinced some cis women via this method, but I was simply ignored when I tried it on the MWMF forum.

    and even some of the otherwise apparently non-bigots resort to the ‘men can’t accept women saying ‘no’ to them; ‘men take up too much social space’ , ‘men have an aggressive style of arguing’ type stuff

    These kinds of stereotypes are really some of the most offensive and transmisogynistic things said about trans women (well, not as bad as painting us as perverts and potential rapists). When someone says this, as you point out, they’re really calling trans women “men” in different ways, or not accepting our identities as valid. Transphobia really is, at its core, the refusal to accept trans identities as valid.

    Anyway, the best I’ve been able to do is ask “Why do you believe this? What makes you think trans women are like this?” but that doesn’t get responses.

    Anyway, you have a lot of good points, and I’m too tired to give them all the attention they deserve. You are not sidetracking anything, this is what comments are for. :)

    Also, I’m getting close to doing an actual political lesbian post, even though Kactus has covered the topic really well. I just want to complain about appropriation.

  24. Lisa Harney Says:

    I forgot to mention: Because transphobia involves a refusal to accept trans people as their proper gender, then anything you do invalidates that: Trying to be too feminine, not being feminine enough. Assertive behavior in a woman is seen as male social domination in a trans woman. Etc.

  25. cicely Says:

    trans women do experience these “this is what girls do and this is what girls don’t do and for us it’s not just a matter of social acceptance, but of getting the treatment we need. It might be less so now, I don’t know.

    but I had to go through that crap, it just started at 18 for me, and I got an involuntary and unwanted pass on the menstruation. Banning us because we might have had access to privilege (learning skills that a woman is much less likely to learn) ignores and erases the women that overcome those barriers and get those skills as well.

    We never get the chance to examine this, though, because we’re authoritatively told we can’t ever experience it, that ever having experienced male privilege disqualifies us anyway, and doesn’t even acknowledge our childhoods as girls stuck being socially perceived as boys or the signals we get from that.

    Just wanted to acknowledge all of this too.

  26. Lisa Harney Says:

    The really nice part about explaining “This is what being raised as a girl means, we have these experiences” is the ability for me to say “Oh, I can relate to that!” which sort of breaks the wall that says there’s no way to cross.

    And I am bitter about some of those things, and the affect they had on me.

  27. cicely Says:

    We cross-posted and I must away from the computer - but thanks for the welcome for this part of the convo - it’s good to know for sure that it’s appropriate here.

    One way that Julia Serano explained this to a woman without pointing out her transmisogyny was to ask a series of questions. It’s not okay to have a trans woman raised as a boy, but is it okay to have:

    a trans woman who was raised as a girl?

    A cis woman who was raised as a boy?

    That’s so abbreviated it may almost be wrong. ANYway, she’s convinced some cis women via this method, but I was simply ignored when I tried it on the MWMF forum.

    Interesting.

  28. aesmael Says:

    One way that Julia Serano explained this to a woman without pointing out her transmisogyny was to ask a series of questions. It’s not okay to have a trans woman raised as a boy, but is it okay to have:

    a trans woman who was raised as a girl?

    A cis woman who was raised as a boy?

    That’s so abbreviated it may almost be wrong. ANYway, she’s convinced some cis women via this method, but I was simply ignored when I tried it on the MWMF forum.

    Nice. I was considering that as an approach between reading your post and reading the comments; good to know it can work sometimes.

  29. Lisa Harney Says:

    Here it is:

    The fact that socialization is a specious argument became obvious to me during an exchange I had with a trans-woman-exclusionist who insisted that my being raised male was the sole reason in her mind for me to be disqualified from entering women-only spaces. So I asked her if she was open to allowing trans women who are anatomically male but who had been socialized female - something that’s not all that uncommon for MTF children these days. She admitted to having concerns about their attending. Then, I asked how she would feel about a person who was born female yet raised male against her will, and who, after a lifetime of pretending to be male in order to survive, finally reclaimed her female identity upon reaching adulthood. After being confronted with this scenario, the woman conceded that she would be inclined to let this person enter women-only space, thus demonstrating that her argument about male socialization was really an argument about biology after all. In fact, after being pressed a bit further, she admitted that the scenario of a young girl who was forced against her will into boyhood made her realize how traumatic and dehumanizing male socialization could be for someone who was female-identified. This, of course, is exactly how many trans women experience their own childhoods.

    Julia Serano, Whipping Girl, page 241

    I was way too tired to look it up last night. :)

  30. Dw3t-Hthr Says:

    (Writing this as I go through the post in a second window.)

    The other thing about the whole “there’s this binary (and implicitly gendered) thing going on here” is … okay, when I was a babykinkster and trying to find resources to understand whether there were people like me out there, people who might be the complement to the stuff in my head, I kept running into things that … made no sense to me. There isn’t one dualism there — there’s a myriad of complexly nuanced different dualisms, some of which line up pretty closely to each other some of the time. And most of the publically available material doesn’t speak to the stuff in my head. I can stretch a little and go ‘Okay, this implementation doesn’t match, but some of the underlying stuff is familiar’ and work from there, but …

    … it’s actually not dissimilar from how I deal with gender stuff. Hmmm. I may take that back to my place and chew on it later.

    The presumed passivity of the submissive (or bottom, but I don’t consider myself a bottom per se, so whatever, let’s ignore that tangent into nuance of dualities) is one of those things that drives me bonkers. One might just as well argue that a top could be replaced by one of those flogging or fucking machines and nobody would notice or care (except for, presumably, the suddenly unpartnered tops).

    And, y’know, I’m sick and tired of ‘woman’ being treated as a catch-all category for ‘other’ by people who claim to be feminists. I mean, I spend a lot of time feeling othered out of womanhood, what does that make me? Monster off the edge of the fucking map. All this goddamn normativity and … what the hell? A trans man is not a stealth woman; a trans woman is not a failed man. People are gods-be PEOPLE, not sneaky or transgressive implementations of category errors. (That was not as coherent as I would like, but…)

    … and wow, is that quoted thing othering the FUCK out of me. I don’t know what being ‘raised as a girl’ means. Putting on a bra led me to the not terribly life-changing realisation that I didn’t want to wear itchy, uncomfortable clothing, not even to make my mother stop being a passive-aggressive psycho, so I stopped doing so, and don’t own any. Where is the interrogation that comes of MY goddamn existence? Nowhere, I’m just la la la can’t hear you invisible. For fuck’s sake.

    Remember gender and sexuality are a choice, and this is bad, but any woman can choose to become a lesbian! And everyone kinky is doing so in a gendered way, including the people who are gender-variant in some way and the ones who are creeped out by people doing kink in a gendered way! And … oh, for crying out loud.

    I need to pad my desk or I’ll dent my skull pounding my head on it, y’know?

  31. Lisa Harney Says:

    Yes, exactly! Not all cis women have those experiences, and not all trans women skip them. It’s an inconsistent standard that exists solely to exclude trans women from woman-only spaces.

    Also, good point on dualisms and where they fail. I mean, I fell into it by talking about tops and bottoms, even though I know for a fact that these are not the entirety of BDSM orientations. It’s so easy to just fall into that stuff and assume it’s the way things are.

    I really like this paragraph:

    And, y’know, I’m sick and tired of ‘woman’ being treated as a catch-all category for ‘other’ by people who claim to be feminists. I mean, I spend a lot of time feeling othered out of womanhood, what does that make me? Monster off the edge of the fucking map. All this goddamn normativity and … what the hell? A trans man is not a stealth woman; a trans woman is not a failed man. People are gods-be PEOPLE, not sneaky or transgressive implementations of category errors. (That was not as coherent as I would like, but…)

    Because it drives me up the wall all the time. I’m sick of the objection that the only reason that trans women can be women is because the patriarchy defines “not men” as women. I mean, that just creates this weird dichotomy where, well, as you say.

  32. Trin Says:

    Yeah. if you’re bonding over a shared experience, you shouldn’t be looking for people based on a label. I never got that one myself.

  33. The Intellectuals « Enough Non-Sense !!! Says:

    [...] Recently, while surfing the web I came across a blog in which the author posted a treatise entitled Sex, Lies, Transmisogyny, and the Heteronormativity of BDSM, pt 2.  It was placed by the writer under her following blog categories: BDSM, MWMF, Oppression [...]

  34. damia Says:

    I normally lurk here, but I just had to pop up and say how WONDERFUL these two posts are. Not only are they amazingly well thought out and argued, but I’m seriously impressed that you managed to read all of “Sex, Lies, and Feminism.” I started to read it for an essay I’m writing critiquing radfem arguments that are used to justify transphobia, and got two pages before I had to wad it up into a ball and chuck it across the room (seriously, not only do her arguments have NO basis in reality, they AREN’T EVEN LOGICAL! ARG!!!)

    So major, major, kudos for wading through that pile of shit, and producing something totally awesome out of it.

  35. Lisa Harney Says:

    Thank you for saying so. I agree - when I read these transphobic articles, I am consumed with an overwhelming sense of “this is so bad it’s not even wrong,” but I had trouble untangling them, because each of the arguments is built on the other arguments, leading to a tangled, bootstrapped argument with no easy origin point.

    However, the fact that the arguments eat their own tails is exactly the starting point. “It’s X because it’s Y, and since it’s Y, X must also be true.” It’s just painful and frustrating to sift through it that far.

    Best of wishes on the essay. I hope this provides useful inspiration.

  36. Harry Benjamin Syndrome and the Trans Rights Movement « Questioning Transphobia Says:

    [...] to a particular HBS-oriented blog. For example, the blog author sought to criticize a two-part article I wrote back in November: Recently, while surfing the web I came across a blog in which the author [...]

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